Blog post #10 Dream Children, A Reverie, Thesis Revision

Carefully read the passage from “Dream Child; a Reverie,” paying special attention to descriptive details and sentence structure. Then, write an essay in which you analyze how Charles Lamb’s style contributes to his portrayal of his “dream children,” his grandmother, and his own childhood.

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Original Thesis:

Lamb's use of long phrases and large amounts of descriptiveness of his past and "dream" children portray how important both are to him by establishing a tone of reflection on old memories, and longing for a new generation to share in those memories.

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ARGUMENT/FOCUS   

Yes  Does my thesis statement address each part of the essay question?

No    Is the point I'm making one that would generate discussion and argument, or is it one

that would leave people asking, “So what?"

Yes   Have I focused on an interesting contradiction, tension or paradox between two things?

Example: “Although the escalation of violence in John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men eventually results in two deaths, it is through violence that compassion is revealed when George, in a violent but merciful act, saves Lenny from cruel mob justice.”

A Bit  Is my thesis too vague? Too general? Should I focus on some more specific aspect of my

topic?

No    Does my thesis deal directly with the topic at hand, or is it a declaration of my personal

feelings (“I think”/ “I feel” statements)?

LANGUAGE

Yes  Does my thesis indicate the direction of my argument? Does it suggest a structure for

my paper?

Yes?  Is the language in my thesis vivid and clear? Have I structured my sentence so that the

important information is in the main clause? Have I used subordinate clauses to

house less important information? Have I used parallelism to show the relationship

between parts of my thesis? In short, is this thesis the very best sentence that it can be?

Yes   Is the thesis statement written as a complex sentence?ARGUMENT/FOCUS   

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Revised Thesis

In "Dream Child; a Reverie," Charles Lamb's use of long phrases and flowery language--for example, his description of  "the old melancholy-looking yew tree,"--regarding his past and his goals for the future portray how important both are to him by establishing a tone of reflection on old memories, but also a somberness that comes out of his longing for a new generation with whom to share in these memories. 

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